Buzz Aldrin's No Dream is Too High: Life Lessons from a Man Who Walked on the Moon (co-written with Ken Abraham) was a spontaneous get from a clearance section, and when I picked it up I assumed that this was his memoir? It does have elements of a memoir, in that Aldrin tells little stories of his life experiences, but his actual memoir is titled Magnificent Desolation, which I will have to get another time. This book is more a presentation of neat little soundbites for the purpose of inspiring people, and especially younger people, who look up to him and want to pursue their dreams.
Aldrin clearly has a lot of feelings about doing as much as possible while he's still alive and able, and this book is part of the activism of trying to keep interest in science, space and space-faring activities alive. He wants to inspire excellence! Unfortunately that's not really what I'm interested in, speaking as someone whose dreams are much smaller, so reading this book was a case of "that's nice, but not really relatable" which is frustrating because not everything has to be relatable, but the book's prose is trying so hard to make ALL of it relatable, and urging the reader to Innovate! And Think Out of the Box! And Not Be Afraid of Rejection! Aldrin is so upbeat and positive, there's outright whiplash when he drops tidbits out of the blue, eg. how his mother died, before right on back to going, Surround Yourself With People Who Will Bring Out the Best in You! Don't Be Afraid To Think Out of the Box! Be Open-minded! Stand Up For Yourself!
I don't mean this to denigrate, and I totally get Aldrin's frustration that NASA stopped going to the moon, and efforts to get to Mars are taking so long, that he needs to pour that frustration into this book (along with other projects) to remind people of the best of humankind's accomplishments and capabilities and to be unafraid to pursue excellence even when times are hard... and have unfortunately become harder since the time this book was published almost ten years ago. For example, this book gets dated for his namechecking Musk and Bezos as innovators who make the world a better place.
For Aldrin's purpose, the book is what it is, a collection of anecdotes to inspire and encourage optimism, so there's a sense of flattening and simplification for that. There's only allusions to Aldrin's difficulties in and after NASA, his depression and alcoholism, or even his time in the Korean War -- which, as he writes it, he remembers that war fondly, and not much more than that.
Yesterday, I mentioned on Bluesky that I’d heard this guy suggest a way to break the doomscrolling Ouroboros we all seem to be stuck in right now: when the urge to resume doomscrolling hits (our brains asking for dopamine), make a choice to be creative instead. Satisfy the brain’s desire for dopamine by making something, instead of chasing that hit from the Internet. It takes a little bit of time, and requires mindfulness, but he says it worked for him.
So I’ve been doing that for a few days, and I have noticed a measurable decrease in my stress and agitation. Instead of looking at the news and hoping for The Headline, I’ve been writing down story ideas, working on this thing I needed to turn in at the end of last year, and playing around with the design of my website.1 And that’s been surprisingly fun and satisfying2! It’s amusing to me, how difficult it was to find a simple theme that just recreated what I was able to do in the Before Times, and I’m not 100% satisfied with it, but the sense memory associated with “tinkering with my blog” has taken me back to a time that wasn’t necessarily happier, or better, or anything like that — I remember how hard it was for me and my family in those day — but it does take me back to moments when I felt like I was making something that mattered3. There was so much fun to be had back then, when we all generally agreed that Nazis were bad and behaved accordingly.
While I was under the hood of my blog, I came across a rather large drafts folder, with a few dozen incomplete posts that I abandoned for one reason or another. One of them, which I posted yesterday, was actually a repost from earlier this year (I’d forgotten that I put the unpublished part of my post into a different post, and now I’ve created a timeloop paradox. Sorry about that), which some of you helpfully pointed out to me.
When I was looking at the unpublished stuff, I found things that were last edited 12 years ago, and almost every year, since. I saw a clear picture of who and where I was in my life then (not always great), and I understood why I didn’t post them. But there were some others that I thought were kinda nice, and I must have talked myself out of posting them for some reason.
I am going to be the person I needed then, and supportively tell my past self that it’s absolutely good enough, he’s good enough, and here is a lovely thing he wrote a long time ago:
Pushing myself through this heavy membrane that separates me from the rest of the world, feeling it stretch and stretch and refuse to break long after it should have.
Then, all of a sudden, it snaps and I’m through it and I’m breathing again and I can feel the air and the world.
And I’m not as tired. Or maybe I’m tired, but I’m tired like a person is tired, because just moving forward is like one of those dreams where you go as hard as you can just taking one step and then another and it feels like you aren’t getting anywhere.
I’m trying my best. I’m doing my best. I know it’s all I can do, and I tell people that when you do your best you should feel proud of yourself no matter what the result but motherfucker that’s hard to do when gravity feels stronger wherever I am than where I’m not.
So I make myself do stuff. I make myself get out and run, and I hurt my leg again and it’s so unfair and I cry and I feel stupid and I just want to give up but I’m not going to. I’m not going to let it win.
I walk a little bit and my leg starts to work that cramp out on its own and pretty soon I can run again. I can’t run as fast as I want to but at least I can run. It’s a bigger victory than it should be but it’s also very small. But it’s something and I need it so I take it.
I’m tired and I don’t want to go anywhere but I press against that goddamn membrane as hard as I can and I go to my friend’s house and I play games and I try real hard not to let them know how bad I feel because we should all just have fun.
And we have fun, and it feels good to be around my friends, and for a little while I forget to feel bad.
I get home and make myself write a story. It isn’t the story I want to write, but it’s a story that I need to write, and it helps me get out some stuff and I remember why I’m a writer.
Me from the past, that’s really sweet and I’m happy for you to embrace the part of you that is a capital-W Writer. I don’t know why you thought you shouldn’t post that — maybe you wanted to say more, or felt too vulnerable — but it’s enough, and so are you. I am standing on your shoulders, doing my best, just like you were. It gets better, buddy, and I need you to know that.
I love you.
I think I’ve settled on Structure Lite, from Organic Themes. ︎
In the old days, I had to make any changes to my blog by hand. I had to open up a text editor and do it all in html. I still haven’t wrapped my head around CSS, how styles are inherited, and how to use a stylesheet. I never learned how to use scripting or anything, because I would absolutely break things if I did. ︎
In every partnership, a division of labor emerges over time that allows each partner to play to their strengths, stay out of each other’s way, and efficiently get shit done together.
In our house, I do most of the cooking, because I genuinely love everything about it … with one very important exception: I always fuck up the salt.
So I’ll do everything in a recipe until the “salt to taste” step. At that point, I summon Anne (usually with my voice, though in my imagination I am using a bat signal that projects the Morton’s girl with the umbrella) and she uses whatever weird magical skill she has to put in exactly the right amount of salt.
A few weeks ago, I was making soup. Anne had to run to the store when I got to the “salt to taste” step, and I would be lying if I told you that I did not panic, hard. I mean, a normal person would be, like, “Oh, I guess I’ll wait until she gets back,” but not me! Bill Junior was a DAREDEVIL! Just like his old man.
“Look on the Internet,” a mysterious voice echoed in my head, “look for ‘how much salt for two quarts of soup’ and math will save you.”
The voices in my head have never lead me astray (well, except for all those times they did), so I did a quick search.
This is where I tell you that this post isn’t about the salt, but I know at least one of you wants to know the answer, so I’ll also tell you that it’s about a teaspoon, which is what I put into my soup, with trembling hands.
Fuck yeah, math! It was perfect.
But that’s not what this is about. This is about an entirely different recipe that I saw a little further down in the search results; it’s about the Martha Stewart recipe for basic chicken soup.
Martha Stewart always makes food in such interesting ways, I was curious to know what her take was on chicken soup.
Oh my god, it’s incredible.
She tells us to buy a whole chicken, cut it up, and use it to make the stock. Then we pull it out of the stock, cut the meat off the bones, and return that meat into the stock we just made.
Quick aside: this is the point in writing this post that yet another voice in my head asserts that this isn’t interesting and I should just delete it. I’m doing my best to push on through, though.
I showed the recipe to Anne when she got home (after I asked her to taste my properly-salted soup — she loved it) and then texted it to our family chat, because Ryan likes to cook as much as I do (I love that I passed that along to him, without even trying). We all agreed that it looked amazing.
Last night was the first opportunity I’ve had to make this recipe and HOLY SHIT YOU GUYS.
It’s so much fun, it’s so satisfying, and the resulting soup was so magnificent, I almost couldn’t believe that I made it.
And yet, I needed to go further. I needed to make some matzo balls.
That’s also something I’d never done before, but I knew it was simple enough. So I made some matzo meal in the food processor, followed a simple recipe, and ended up with something that wasn’t too bad for a Gentile’s first attempt.
I put it all together and …
It was so good. The matzo balls were a little too big, but that’s an easy fix for next time.
I was going to start watching Bloody Game season 3, but while browsing Netflix on my phone, I got a promo for Crime Scene Zero.
HUH, said I. Does this have anything to do with Crime Scene, the murder mystery variety show that I love? A quick click on the show's info (the show itself hasn't dropped yet) seemed to imply that it's a continuation of the same show????
I went to the show's wiki page to double-check, and sure enough Crime Scene Zero is mentioned there as a fifth season of the show.... but just before that, the article says that there was a fourth season LAST year, called Crime Scene Returns.
WHAT! Despite my acceptance that the show is labour intensive and difficult to set up and run, they've made another two seasons? I checked the usual places on reddit, and have now watched episode 1 and 2 of Crime Scene Returns, as it seems that this season has changed the format some by splitting each case into two episodes each.
Sure, the comments on reddit are more levelheaded, with criticism of the new episodes' pacing and the roleplaying skills of the cast, but meanwhile I'm over here watching episodes 1 and 2 while being gleeful, joyous, excited, grateful, delighted, ecstatic, and laughing until my asthma kicks in. (When ep 1 first started I went aww Park Ji-yoon didn't come back? But then she came walking in as the detective and I went YAY!!!!) I am so happy, I have to stop myself from bingeing the whole season, though I probably will.
Current Mood:ecstatic
Current Music:Franz Ferdinand - What You Waiting for?
I got Karen Armstrong's memoir The Spiral Staircase: My Climb Out of Darkness from a book fair ages ago, but kind of avoided reading it because although I knew that Armstrong used to be a nun and that informs her perspective of religion, I was nervous that knowing Armstrong better might make me enjoy her other books less. As it turns out, knowing a bit more about life experience has indeed changed the way I view her books that I've already read, but in ways I wasn't expecting, and most of the guesses I'd made from her style of writing turned out to be pretty close.
Anyway, great read, enjoyed myself even through the difficult parts, I have a better understanding (I think) of the ways that Armstrong thinks that differ from my own, but still illuminate routes that are useful to think about.
It took me so long to finish Bloody Game season 2! (Looks like I started somewhere in July.) There was a stretch of a few weeks where I was three episodes from the finale and just couldn't get through, the pace and editing was SO BAD in the second half of the season. Made worse because at the same time I was watching Taran's The Genius season 1 commentary, which further made me appreciate how crisp the editing is in that show, even during its slower first season.
(Tangent: Taran paused his The Genius commentary to commentate over Survivor: Australia - Australia vs. the World, which I ended up watching because I figured that his commentary would be interesting enough to cancel out my general disinterest in Survivor -- speaking as someone who followed season 2 and 3 really closely back in the day. Taran had way less to say because he doesn't have as much game strategy to analyse, but it was fun to get a glimpse of Survivor fandom lingo and meta discussion about "player edits" and "social currency".)
I finally forced myself to finish Bloody Game's season 2, in the hopes of getting to the reportedly better season 3. It's been literal months since I first started season 2, and at one point I accidentally deleted my post on the earlier episodes when it was in a dreamwidth draft, so I'll try to recall what my thoughts were.
Why couldn't I have fastforwarded through season 2 the way I did season 1? Because Hong Jin-ho was a player. Dammit, Jin-ho! Though a lot of the time I let the show play in the background while I did other things. It is fun seeing Jin-ho, who "rescued" The Genius's debut season, appear almost ten years later in Bloody Game as a veteran (and thus letting go, fashion effort wise) in a mostly younger-than-him cast.
If you’re local, you know what a big deal this is, and how much of a difference it’s going to make in the lives of tens of thousands of people who no longer have to endure the 60 or the 210 for their commute.
If you’re not local, you’re gonna have to trust me on this: it’s a big deal, a significant investment in our communities that will endure for generations.
This Board was tasked with determining the future of passenger rail service, something that hadn’t existed in LA since the Pacific Red Cars were (in my opinion, tragically) decommissioned in 1961. As you can imagine, it faced intense opposition from the usual gang of idiots, so in 1978, when George was on filming Star Trek The Motion Picture, he left the set and went to the board meeting where he cast the deciding vote to approve light rail service for Angelenos.
Think about that for a second. Our entire Metro rail system, which now includes the longest route in the world at over 50 miles, would not exist without George. Never, ever, let them tell you one person can’t make a difference.
I didn’t know any of this until yesterday, so I dropped that story into my prepared remarks, as a way of honoring George’s legacy, Tom Bradley’s legacy, and to celebrate the way Star Trek and its fundamental message of humanist hope are woven throughout the entire Metro system. It was so lovely when all the people who were there cheered for him.
I made myself look like an adult, fooled everyone, and had an absolutely great time. On the train ride back from Pomona to Glendora, I mentioned to Anne that for as long as I can remember, whenever I finish a performance, the only thing I feel is relief; I have always struggled to find joy and satisfaction in a job well done. But yesterday, I felt good about myself. I felt like I wrote a good speech, delivered it well, hit the notes that everyone wanted me to hit, and I felt so happy and maybe even a little bit of pride.
That’s very new for me, and I hope it sticks around.
I posted updates all morning long on my Instagram stories. Behind the jump, I’ll repost all of that stuff, as well as my prepared remarks.
Mom and dad cleaned up so we didn’t embarrass you in front of your friends.
Riding from Glendora station to Pomona station, I reflected on the role public transportation has played in my life.
I love this face I am making, while I process the reality that all these fancy people think I’m an adult.
I wasn’t in a good location to film this, but WOW was it beautiful.
Keeping things in chronological order, here are my prepared remarks:
Good morning! It’s a beautiful and historic day here in Pomona as we celebrate the official grand opening of the A Line Extension to Pomona!
I’m Wil Wheaton, and it is truly a pleasure to be your host for today’s celebration of this amazing accomplishment.
I was born and raised in the San Fernando Valley, and I grew up in a middle-class neighborhood in Sunland, before my family moved to La Crescenta in the 80s. When I started my family in the 90s, my wife and I moved to Arcadia, where we raised our children in the new millennium. I’ve seen a lot of things change in five decades. I am old enough to remember when the Valley was mostly farmland. I remember when the 210 was built (and stood in for all of our freeways on one of my favorite television shows, CHiPs.) I remember the 80s, when we had to stay indoors, because the air quality was so bad before the AQMD stepped in.
One thing that hasn’t changed, that has actually been a defining constant, is the love we all have for our city and our neighbors. Sure, we have our fun intra-community rivalries (818 for life!) but at the end of the day, we are all Angelenos who love our city of angels. Our Metro system is an expression of that love for our communities. Our Metro system connects us, brings our communities together, and serves the public good. It is an expression of our civic pride, yet another reason Los Angeles is such a wonderful place to live, work, and raise a family.
But the biggest reason I love LA is our diversity. More people live in Los Angeles County than the total population of 13 states, and we score 95 on the 100 point diversity scale.
I grew up steeped in the culture and traditions that my neighbors brought with them when they came to LA, as well as the cultures and traditions that existed here before my ancestors arrived.
I love that I got to grow up experiencing food and music, fashion and traditions from all over the world, just by walking down the street. I love that I can hop on the metro and get a taco in Highland Park, spend the day at the Long Beach Aquarium, and finish the day at a Kings game. And I know I’m not alone because I see my fellow Angelenos on the train, often taking their families with them to do something that only happens in LA.
Whatever I want, whatever anyone wants, it’s here. Great food, performing arts, museums that are the envy of the world, and near perfect weather, every day, at our beaches and in our mountains. There is so much to do here, being bored is a choice.
In fact, LA is so special, the Angels, down in Orange County, insist we pretend they are from Los Angeles. Uh, you’re not. The only major league baseball team in Los Angeles is the World Series Champion Los Angeles Dodgers.
But I understand your envy, Anaheim. I really do. This is a great place to live. Oh, and Shohei Ohtani plays for our team, which is pretty great. I’d hate to be the team that couldn’t re-sign him!
One of my favorite local bands, Bad Religion, has a song called “You are the government” that reminds us that we, the people, get to decide what our communities look like. When I rode the A line to get here, and when I look around here this morning, I see, over and over again, the good we can do when we come together for the mutual benefit of our communities.
And in that spirit, before I bring up our first speaker, I want to take a moment to personally thank the regular citizens, community organizers, and elected officials who helped move this project through all its stages of planning and construction. I want to thank all the skilled tradespeople who worked so hard to build this line and this beautiful station that will now serve generations.
And finally, I want to thank my fellow Angelenos who love our city of immigrants, who are standing up right now to protect our friends and neighbors, our wonderfully diverse communities, and ensuring that wherever we go, from Pomona to Pasadena, from downtown to Long Beach, from Hollywood to Santa Monica, and all across the San Fernando and San Gabriel valleys, we are all safe.
The people who worked so hard to bring this project to completion cut the ribbon, confetti canons went TO TOWN, and there was much rejoicing.
Then, there were tacos.
Every day is Taco Tuesday, when you believe in yourself
We followed our tacos with churros, as is traditional.
Then we rode the train back to Glendora.
Some final thoughts on a very special day.
It was a deeply meaningful honor and privilege to be invited by Metro to speak at this event, and to share my passion for my city, my neighbors, and our public services. It was an unexpected gift to learn that I’m a link in a chain that was originally forged by one of my favorite people. It was a tangible reminder of what we can do — what we must do — when we come together as citizens and choose to do big things.
The entire Metro system is free to ride this weekend, to celebrate this extension.
I bought Alexander Freed's novelisation of Rogue One: A Star Wars Story back when the movie first came out and I was fannishly excited over it, but I didn't read it. I think it's because most of the time novelisations don't really work for me, either by overexplaining what I prefer to be open, or going for characterisation choices that I disagree with. This novelisation does both! But enough time has passed, and Andor has opened the world further into its own thing, that I can process the novelisation as a product of a specific point in time.
Also, good thing I didn't read it back then because it completely undoes my missing scene fic, in the usual ways that crack me up, eg. my thinking that the timeline as seen didn't make emotional or plotworking sense in order to accomplish all the things that film needed to do during the Yavin 4 interlude, but the movie script, and from there the novelisation, disagreed with me.
The novelisation itself was interesting, and I suppose scratches that itch for world details and setting the scene. But its blank spots are funny, eg. Cassian really has nothing going on emotionally, except (1) mission and (2) Jyn, with the second point overtaking the first pretty quick; no insight into Chirrut's headspace at all, since he only gets the one scene (where he dies) since everything else is given to Baze, I think due to limitations in being able to flesh out the Guardians of Whills lore; Bodhi really does not get his due for what he actually did and sacrificed in order to get the plans out. The movie's already a little waffly on the last part, and I get that the story is wholly Jyn's, but... the novelisation's Jyn is not the movie's Jyn either, so I couldn't really pin emotional investment there either. The broad strokes of the character are the same, but the novelisation (and the script's?) Jyn is way angrier, conflicted and traumatized that movie!Jyn's heartbroken stoicism. So there's that! But I did like the imperial bureaucracy and Orson Krennic parts, which I suppose are difficult to get wrong.
Current Mood:exhausted
Current Music:Stephanie Mills - I Never Knew Love Like This Before
I've been working on this for more than a month, and I've been posting this as a WIP on AO3 with one chapter a day this week, which was fun and useful in finally getting myself to finish it.
But yesterday when I woke up and opened my doc to prep the final chapter, it had reverted to an earlier version where more than half the final chapter was gone. After sitting there for a second or two in horror, I scrambled through finding different solutions... and eventually realized that the latest file was still in the folder, but for some reason when I let my computer do a windows update the night before, it seems to have logged in to the dropbox cloud without my say-so and renamed the files due to the update conflicts. But at least the file was still there! Phew.
Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe Pairing/Characters: Steve/Tony Genre: Steve POV, Pining, Sexual Fantasies, Getting Together, First Time, Humor, Mild Angst Rating: Explicit Words: 13,000+ Crossposting:AO3 Summary:
“What are you thinking about?” Tony asks.
Steve knows that Tony expects him to say something mundane or boring. Propelled by the perpetual urge to throw Tony off-balance, Steve tells him the truth: “I’m thinking about sex.”
Okay I think I'm looking for two separate time loop stories.
I remember one was a time loop story that focused on Ianto. Jack and Gwen were with him as well. He had toconvince them that it was a time loop. I remember the time loop always started in a diner. The alien antagonists are eavesdropping the conversation between Jack and Ianto and Gwen, and it means that they start shooting very soon after the time loop begins. Sometimes Ianto is able to warn Jack and sometimes he isn't. At one point Jack gives him some sort of code to use that only he will know.
This might be the same or a different story. There was a time loop and I think the loop began in some sort of prison cell type thing. Again Ianto as the one who is trapped. Eventually he convinces Gwen and then Jack that they're in a loop. They figure out at one point how to dig out a piece of the wall and they can short circuit some sort of wire. Jack has to do it because it is electrified. I think either they know or think that c I don't remember much else.